It’s 2 AM on 19 March 2018 and I’m lying on my bed, completely in tears after a text conversation I have just had with my dad. These are tears of joy, relief, inner knowing and a little bit of amazement at finally understanding how this Universe works and the synchronicities that have flooded into my vortex lately.
To help you come to this moment with me, I need to take you back to New Years Eve. Knowing that in 2018, I would be celebrating my 30th Birthday, chills ran down my spine. I had always thought that I would know my purpose for being on this planet, at least by the time I was 30. But here I was, 4 months from turning 30 and still feeling like I had no clue nor was I getting any closer to ‘it’. I felt terrible thinking I didn’t know my purpose yet, after having soul searched for so long. Feeling lost more than ever, my 2018 New Years Resolution was made. I would commit to all my spiritual practices and do them “religiously” so I could start receiving some higher guidance (if it existed – I suppose I was a little sceptical). My other resolution was to delve deeper into yoga, after going to my first ever yoga class in Bali during my stay at Bliss, I wanted to learn more. If you haven’t already read about my Bali trip – read about it here: –
- Part 1 – Why I travelled to Bali.
- Part 2 – Bliss Sanctuary Bali
- Part 3 – Living on Island Time.
- Part 4 – Playing tourist
- Part 5 – To Heal or To Not Heal?
- Part 6 – I Love You Bali, Goodbye and Thank You.
So during January, I dove deep into reading “Light On Yoga” by B.K.S. Iyengar. After reading a few chapters, somewhere deep down I felt I already knew what I was reading and that it was just reminding me of all that ancient science again. B.K.S Iyengar also then talks about Ayurveda briefly in his introductory chapters and it gets my attention straight away. I’m so intrigued but I didn’t really think much of it.
A few weeks later, while looking through some of the comments in my favourite Facebook space The Earthess Co. – I read about Sahara Rose and Ayurveda again. There it is again, Ayurveda. The intrigue deepens and I immediately start stalking Sahara on Instagram (like you do.. haha) and fall in love with her. What I loved even more was her page just oozing inspiration and valuable information surrounding the age old practices of Ayurveda. By this point, Ayurveda seemed to be popping up EVERYWHERE around me. Instagram pages following me, random comments about Ayurveda, and so on. I just had to get this out of my system, so I sent a DM to Sahara Rose telling her how I love her page and so admire what she was doing. Lo and behold, as fate would have it, she replies back and asks me to check out her new book. Being the spirit junkie I am and knowing how intrigued I was by Ayurveda at this stage, I order it.
When it comes through, I read it and only a few chapters in, I was even more in love with this ancient science.
But I still couldn’t work out why the “sudden” interest in this field.
So once again, I started meditating on this question.. Why am I so interested in Ayurveda ‘suddenly’? Why does it feel so familiar? .. Once again.. there were no answers.
Few weeks later, Elisa Romeo (she’s the beautiful author of Meet Your Soul) and her partner Adam did a call on The Earthess Co. about Soulmates. Inspired by the call, I ordered her book and started reading it. Now one of her exercises is doing a meditation to meet your soul. I loved this idea so I got ready to finally meet ‘her’. Her is my soul. My essence. My Higher Self.
It is now Sunday night 18th March, I set the room up for a long deep meditation. Lights off, only a candle slowly flickering away. I wrap myself up in my favourite blanket, close my eyes and ask her to come forth, to meet me, to make Herself known to me. Few minutes in, but what felt like years, I finally see a glimpse of this beautiful Indian girl. She has my face but she looks very different, like from a different era. She is clad in long flowing dress, with shimmering skirt that is flowing with the breeze. She is looking out from a window in a palace-like-building towards what looked like an ancient Indian city in the background. She is clad in beautiful jewellery. And the most memorable vision of her is wearing emerald earrings and a tight choker-like emerald necklace.
While I’m seeing her visions in my meditation, all of a sudden I get thrown out. My eyes open and I am out of my meditative bliss and in my immediate reality of my living room, the candle still flickering away. But I pretty much realise it straightaway that it wasn’t a dream that I couldn’t recollect upon waking up. In fact I could remember exactly what I saw. How she looked, what she wore, how she smiled. Her face was my face but everything else looked totally different. She was slender, petite, she had long hair with a few curls and her skin was a beautiful beige brown, glistening in the sun.
I have to admit, that meditation and being thrown out of it so unexpectedly disturbed me. I was freaked out. Who was she? Was she my soul that I badly wanted to meet and had called forward?
I lay in bed not being able to sleep. I could not fathom the experience I just had. It was freaky. Almost sounded like insanity. Had I delved into realms I shouldn’t have?
I was aware of the fact that I had work the next day so I should really be sleeping by then. But I needed to make peace with what I had experienced. At this stage, my mind for some reason, starts to wander and begins thinking about my Grandfather.
My father’s father – He passed away while I was still very young. I don’t remember him much, although I knew from my parents that he was a doctor (not sure what kind). My father is also a doctor, specifically a Pathologist, so very much trained in the Western Science and Philosophy of Medicine.
I hardly would ever text anyone at this hour of the night (its past 12am, we are now into 19th March Monday morning early hours). But something took over and I texted my dad. I started asking him about his father. I said to him, “Can you tell me what type of doctor was your dad, I mean my grandfather?”.
The answer comes “General Practitioner”. Obviously I assume, he refers to the western science considering he is a Pathologist himself.
Then I asked, ‘what about his dad? my great grandfather?”
Dad says “General Practitioner”. Again. Hmm.
Couple seconds later, another text arrives “Old Degree”.
So I said, “what?”
Dad: “They both had a private practice”.
Me: “What type of doctor was your grandfather?” – I press for it again, knowing this would very well be during the British rule so western medicine degrees in India wouldn’t be that prevalent.
Me: “what? Who was Ayurvedic doctor?”
Dad: “Both of them.”
My first immediate reaction. Are you serious? A.Y.U.R.V.E.D.A?
I then proceed to tell him how I had been reading books on Ayurveda and had all of a ‘sudden’ developed huge interest in this field. He says “It might be in your genes”.
Then Dad goes on to tell me how my great Grandfather Dr. C. K. Pandya worked for the East India company, as a doctor, a registered Medical Practitioner. He then retired and worked in his own Private practice. He tells me how he used to see and treat patients traveling to nearby villages by riding on a horse. How charming, I think to myself.
My mind blows at this stage, I think this would be exactly how it feels when some people go insane for the rest of their life. Only that I was having an out of the ordinary psychic and spiritual experience that I had only to this point heard of from other spiritual people. I went from going through the freaky experience of seeing those visions of an Indian princess to now finding out my grandfathers, only 2 generations ago, were both Ayurvedic Medicine Practitioners.
But then, there is more. My dad goes on to tell me about stories he knew from his Grandparents. He tells me of how our ancestors had fleed from a city called modern day UDAIPUR in Rajasthan during an invasion from the Mughal kings. In those times, my ancestors served as the main Priests for the Kings of Udaipur. He also tells me how his Grandmother (my great grandmother) was a very beautiful woman.
At this stage, learning about my ancestry, I’m speechless. For anyone who has travelled to Udaipur knows the city is jam packed with palaces. I googled a few images and almost every picture took me back to my visions that I had seen in my meditative state earlier that night. Was I looking at someone from my past life? Was this beautiful Indian Princess I saw in my visions one of my ancestors? Was it me in my past life? or Was it my soul who I wanted to meet that night?
I said good night to my dad and then I sat on my bed trying to assimilate all of this.
I then started Soul journaling. I asked my higher self and then wrote this question in my notebook – Who was the woman in my visions the other day? Was it you my dear soul? or was it me in one of my previous lives? The answer comes straightaway and my pen writes down “Past Life“.
Everything gets so clear.
How all the events up to this point had led me to my realisation of my Ancestry (something I had never felt like I wanted to know when I was growing up!), healers in my family and therefore being a healer is in ‘my blood’, my roots in Udaipur, my connection to Ayurveda, my past life in Udaipur, the Indian Princess and so on.
At this stage, its 2 am and I feel like a few years have passed in these short few hours of going through these massive realisations and getting all of these freaky downloads from the Universe.
Tears go streaming down my face and I feel a sense of relief. An inner knowing. A little bit of amazement at finally understanding how this Universe works and the synchronicities that have flooded into my vortex on this night. Wow, my Tap is really open. All my spiritual practices came together in one night to give me all of this information from the Akashic records. The Universe really responded to some of the most deepest questions I have had for a long time.
So here it is. I know there is a lot of disparate pieces of information that I have written about here my darling readers but I feel all the pieces of information and realisations come together at the end, little by little.
Since this day, I feel a sense of knowing. I wanted to explore and get to know my past life a little more. And that I need answers to questions like – Who was this Indian princess. What was she trying to tell me. Where will Ayurveda take me. Was this just Universes’ way of showing me my past life or is it showing me my future too. Am I meant to be a healer too. If so, what modality. Is it Ayurveda, just like my ancestors. Or another healing modality I’m yet to discover my aptitude for. Should I go to Udaipur. And so much more.
Here I am only 2 months from my 30th birthday and finally feel closer to my life’s purpose than ever before. To you my readers, if I could say anything out of my own experience, then it would be that you need to ask questions in order to get answers. Sooner or later, the Universe will always respond. Promise.
This was a tough blog post to write to be honest, knowing not many people believe in such experiences, but living authentically and truthfully is what I’m here to do and therefore, although this is a blog post not many might vibe with or even comprehend, I’m taking the risk to share this intimate experience publicly so it brings my tribe in my vortex faster than ever before. I hope if you are having deeper questions about your life, this post inspires you to go looking for answers and not be afraid of the process. 🙂
Until next time,
In love and light, as always.